You know, I like the design of that site.
Here's a couple of things:
The underlined words confuse me. My mouse hand is thinking "Are they broken links?" Maybe they could just be headers.
Maybe re-write some of the blurbs, like "Kyle Lastname is wrapping up the first draft of our new novel, The Novel. Go Kyle! Then it's off to Harrison House Publishing for a 'first look' deal. Keep us in your prayers!"
or... for the RPG book, include something about your background GMing RPG's (maybe without naming the games)
Basically, the first couple of paragraphs rock and scream "Professional!" But then it gets kindof common-place after that, using words like "would/could/should" and negatives, and losing the "we" reference and addressing as "I".
By re-writing the content, I think you'd be assuring the investors that you are professional and their investment is safe with your work ethic and professionalism.
Just my 2cents. I hope you get a great designer!